Escape hatch here
During my initial assessment with a new client, I ask the question of whether or not they have ever had thoughts of hurting themselves or others. Most often the answer is some variation of "Not exactly, but I want things to end." While exploring this further, I discover that really the person is feeling down or depressed and they want that feeling to go away. Other feelings are identified as well: frustration, lack of appreciation, helplessness, etc.
This is actually very common and I look at it more as wanting to escape feelings or situations rather than having anything to do with actually harming one's self. Things can become so overwhelming that we just want a break, a break from the negative feelings or situation.
Often there are small changes we can make to improve the situation and feel better. It can feel like the other person (spouse, partner, etc) needs to change and to some degree that might be true but we only have control over ourselves. Small changes we make can make a big difference. Those changes might include setting boundaries, accepting the other person as they are, accepting that we need help, increasing self-care, etc. There isn't one solution to all the different situations but with exploration of your situation we can come up with a plan to improve your mood and your situation.