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It isn't about you....

So many clients talk about worrying about what others think about them or what they did wrong to cause someone to treat them a certain way etc. But so often other people's behavior towards us has nothing to do with us but is about them. An example I use often is about passing a coworker in a hallway and them not acknowledging you. This can hurt and make us wonder what we did that damaged the relationship. But it is more likely that it had nothing to do with us but is a reflection of them being in their own head either about a work issue or their home life. I know I've done this, where I'm so focused I don't even realize there is another person present. It has nothing to do with the other person.

There is such a sense of freedom when we internalize this: "The way people treat you, is a statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you." And sometimes it is only a statement about who they are in that moment.

So often we take things personally that aren't at all personal. Other's people's behavior is a reflection of them, not you!

“If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.”

― Yogi Bhajan

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