"Don't bleed until you are shot": Managing Anxiety in Times of Uncertainty
One of the most powerful yet simple reminders I often share with clients is, “Don’t bleed until you are shot.” Though I didn’t coin this phrase, it’s a helpful mantra for navigating anxiety and life’s uncertainties. So often, we find ourselves worried about events that haven’t happened and likely never will. Yet there are situations, such as health concerns or life-altering transitions, where a level of worry is perfectly natural. Knowing how to manage anxiety in these times can be the key to preserving mental and emotional well-being.
Why Do We Worry About What Hasn’t Happened?
Anxiety is our brain’s way of trying to protect us from potential harm. Sometimes, though, this instinct to "prepare for the worst" goes into overdrive, leading us to worry about hypothetical scenarios. Worrying about things that haven’t happened can drain energy and create emotional turmoil. In my work as a therapist, I often see people caught in this cycle of anxiety, spending time and energy on “what if” scenarios instead of living fully in the present.
When Anxiety Is Normal—and When It’s Not
Not all worry is unnecessary. Recently, I spoke with a client who had discovered a growth and was understandably anxious. Her doctors told her the likelihood of it being serious was very low, yet she struggled to manage her anxiety. And while she wanted to avoid overthinking, she also felt a natural concern that was entirely reasonable given the situation.
In times like these, when something important is uncertain, feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re overreacting—it means you’re human. A certain level of worry can even be healthy; it’s a way of processing the unknown and acknowledging that something meaningful is at stake.
The Importance of Proportional Anxiety
The key is to keep your anxiety proportional to the situation at hand. When there is a legitimate, though minimal, chance that something could be serious, as with a health concern, we have to find a balance. Excessive worry won’t alter the outcome—it only diminishes your quality of life in the here and now. Proportional anxiety allows you to be cautious and prepared without becoming overwhelmed.
For instance, in situations where the chance of a serious diagnosis is low, it’s useful to practice mindful observation. Acknowledge the anxiety without letting it dominate your thoughts or behavior. This process doesn’t mean dismissing the concern but rather managing it in a way that honors the facts.
Tips for Managing Uncertainty and Reducing Anxiety
Focus on Facts, Not “What Ifs”Try to distinguish between what you know for sure and hypothetical worries. Instead of allowing “what if” scenarios to drive your mindset, anchor yourself in the information available right now.
Set Worry BoundariesIt may seem counterintuitive, but scheduling a set time each day for worrying can help you take control of anxiety. During this time, you can think about what’s concerning you without letting it interfere with other parts of your day.
Stay Present and GroundedMindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or grounding exercises, can be extremely helpful. When your mind begins to wander into future fears, bring it back to the present moment. You may find that in the present, things are more manageable than your mind makes them seem.
Seek Support When NeededHaving a support network or someone to talk to, like a therapist, can help keep anxiety in check. A mental health professional can provide tools to help you manage worry in a healthy, constructive way.
Practice Self-CompassionRemind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious. Telling yourself you "shouldn’t feel" a certain way often compounds stress. Self-compassion allows you to acknowledge the anxiety without judgment and focus on healthy ways to move forward.
Finding the Balance
We can’t avoid worry entirely, and in times of genuine uncertainty, some degree of anxiety is natural. But as the saying goes, “don’t bleed until you are shot.” Anxiety doesn’t need to consume your life or prevent you from experiencing the present. By learning to manage your worries, you empower yourself to face uncertainties with resilience and maintain emotional balance in challenging times.
If you’re struggling with anxiety about life’s uncertainties, whether large or small, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy offers a space to explore these feelings, understand their roots, and build strategies for coping in healthy, sustainable ways. As a therapist, I work with clients to help them balance their responses to uncertainty, manage anxiety effectively, and focus on what they can control.
If you’re ready to take steps toward reducing your anxiety and finding peace of mind, consider reaching out.
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